Long week and its only thursday…

The weeks go way too fast. It gets to be Saturday and you go holy shit tomorrow is Sunday which means the day after that is Monday. But then you go the way after that is Tuesday which is almost Wednesday, which means only two days until the weekend. And then it gets to be Thursday and you think where did the week go? Holy shit the week is almost over and then it’s Friday and you think you can chill but then it gets to Saturday and it starts all over again. I greatly dislike this pattern.

I’m working on the paperwork to take Shakespeare as a pass/fail course, I don’t wanna worry about a grade I know will be a B or a B+ when I want mostly A-s

I have 6 costume designs for Machinal due monday and an online quiz for AbPsy… other than that I think I’m sitting pretty.

What a day…

First off did you see Johnny’s face when S.T. won art direction? He was all “Something I was in won an award? Does not compute.”… It totally deserved it though.

Anyways I can’t wait for therapy. I had some serious anxiety issues today, like I couldn’t stop feeling like I had to be somewhere, I kept looking at the clock and I ended up missing Shakespeare. I think I’m going to change the grading option to Pass/Fail for GPA reasons…

I need things to get better.

Speakeasies

Right, well I have a 3 minute report to give on Prohibition and Speakeasies tomorrow for costume design. Thus far I only have “Speakies were established as a way of getting around Prohibition”… I still have the rest of today to do it… in theory.

A Case of the Nasties

I had a particularly nasty panic attack today. To start, I was home for a few days to visit my grandfather… he’s looking better. Anyways the panic attack… It started at 12:30 when I hit the road to had from home to school wondering if I’d be back in time for my 3 O’clock class, I’m already kicking myself for stopping to buy an eyeshadow and concealer I really wanted, but I really wantd the concealer because I was freaking about this huge zit I have…

I knew I would make it, yet still with the panic. About 30 minutes into the drive I had to pee so I pulled off the highway to a gas station, their restroom was out of order, so I went to the rest stop across the street and it was under construction… so 10 minutes later I am in the Burger King freaking out already. I get back in the car and drive panicked to school, I get there with 15 minutes to get to class and it only takes me 5 minutes to walk there and my teacher starts late.

I get to class on time, sit down, and proceed to sit and twitch and constantly look at the clock and try not to cry. We were looking at eating disorders and I knew something was wrong with me because the idea of taking laxatives to lose weight suddenly sounded like a good idea.  BAD IDEA. Rationally a very very BAD IDEA.

So then I came back and saw that a parking ban was declared due to impending snow so I have to move my car. Which means putting it in the garage which will cost money. I am now panicking about the money I spent on the eyeshadow and concealer this morning. I know I have more money in a certificate of desposit and a nice sum of money in my checking account, yet I freak out because I  spent so much money last month and I don’t want my parents to be mad at me.

So I go out grocery shopping since my car will be in the garage for a while and I should get food now and it came out to… well… what food for over a week would cost since the price of food is rising and I’m using my mom’s money to buy the food and I freak again because I’m spending her money! Even though she said I could buy groceries. I bumped into two people in the market and apologized profusely and repeatedly and they were both equal parts comforting and wigged at this wacky girl who felt so guilty for bumping into them.

And now I’m here trying to not feel so damned guilty for every little thing that I do. This is bad. Aria’s on her way over… maybe some down time will help me…

Less than great

I’m reporting in with my first grade of the year. It was for some designs in Costume Design when I apparently misunderstood the assignment. I thought we were doing preliminary work before our actual designs, so that’s what I turned in, preliminary work. Granted a B- isn’t bad but I need to get at least an A- in this class. I turned in to Kiki two/four full designs the day she handed them back, I don’t know if that will affect my grade at all though. I hope it will bring it up at least a little bit.

Anyways I kinda rocked this last assignment, which was to design costumes for two different attitudes: vengeful, and frivolous/flirty. I ended up doing designs for two Buffy Between The Lines characters, both designs are for episode 6. The pictures are kinda crappy since I took them with my phone…
Javert Vidoq
Candyce Wells
Also I’ve been struck by a weird desire to see The Facts of Life again… go figure.

I’m riding the endorphin high…

I honestly think I need therapy more than once a week because I’m starting to get very antsy and anxious again. It’s not fun. Anyways I went to the gym and I’m feeling good for a while. I got most of my costume design homework done so far. Just a few more things left to do but it’s not a big deal.

Anyways since I’m here and I have this spot, I figured I should pimp the Buffy Between the Lines Season 2 auditions. Since they are coming. March 8-21st.

Harmony, Principal Snyder, Mayor Wilkins III,  Willy the Snitch, Cordy, Drusilla (Aria I know you read this…. jooooin us), Riley, Oz, Lindsey McDonald, Lilah Morgan, Gwen Raiden, Amy Madison, Larry, Holland Manners, Pat, Alan Finch, Young Wesley (7 years old), Gwendolyn Post, Quentin Travers and many many more! Just keep it in mind.

100 Hits

Thanks everyone. I’m trying to figure out more ways to get more hits… what can I say I’m a bit of a feedback whore… anyways this was an odd day because it was equally as productive as it was unproductive. I got all my study abroad plans of study in, rearranged my room, worked out… yet at the same time I didn’t send the ebay thing I had to and the majority of the day was spent watching BTVS with Aria… we kinda just slammed through the end of Season 2… I got some reading done and mostly all I have this weekend is costume design homework… which is of the good I suppose… now I’m beat… I’m going to sim and go to bed.

V-day

I was bracing for today to be a supremely sucky day. In fact I spent a good deal of the morning crying. But then my day really turned around. I got a gift from my mother’s not-lesbian not-lover, an Ugly Doll named Minimum Wage, she said it reminded her of my job picking up garbage on the beach this summer.

That was nice and I now have a stuffed animal to squish on. Yay! Also I went to the gym and ran for 30 minutes, so I feel good. Got laundry done and showered and am almost done with my plan for study abroad aplications. I jsut need the head of the psych department to sign my papers and I’m done!

Also I got a letter from the Red Cross today, they are stalking me, they want my platelets! My only qualm with the Red Cross is the archaic ban from gay men to donate blood… normally in a situation like this I’d avoid the institution but many gay men have expressed that what they want most is for people to donate more, to make up for those who cannot give because people need the blood. I always feel good when I donate… I also wonder if that cold tingly feeling is what it would feel like to be drained by a vampire… Aria’s coming over to watch Buffy so I’m in a very vampy state of mind.

I also got to talk to E for like… half an hour which makes me as always very happy. And now I venture out on a little jaunt to pick up dinner and browse that adult store… just to look.

Let it Slush, Let it Slush, Let it Slush

So I got up this morning only to find that Abnormal Psych was cancelled due to the weather, as was Costume design leaving only one class left for the rest of this week. I’ve got a lot of textbook reading done this morning as well as some projects for costume design. I hav my Romanesque redrawings to do as well as my designs for Getting Out and a report on Speakeasies in the 1920s.

I’m almost done with my Plan for Study Abroad applications and found the Application to design an interdepartmental minor so I can do my Film Production minor and not stress about designing/completing a second major. I’m taking a variety of courses in the theory of film and practical applications like directing, screenwriting, and design. I just hope I can get it approved.

I’m still incredibly calm today but it’s fading a little bit. Due to several factors… a few people who make my life kind of harsh. Anyways, I’m forcing myself to go out and talk to people on my floor more often. It’s really nice to be able to knock on someone’s door and not feel like a total intruder upon their lives. I think maybe I will end up making some friends here, but I’m still debating whether or not I will live here next semester. Though I think E might kill me if I stay here again since she was so determined for me to move out of here this semester.

I’m still not in the clear on living here… I still am pretty sure that if I was dead on the floor in my room no one would notice until I started to smell. That’s just an extreme example but it’s a scary one nonetheless.

Looooooong Day

Well I ushered in the day at midnight still on my call for Geek by Night, I can’t wait until the promos come out. I love this project. Apparently the #Ep 2 script wasedited to make Cliss’s character more violent, to match… well… Cliss

I finally got around to going to the therapist, and I’m very happy about that. I feel pretty much calm for once in a very long time. And afterwards I watched a puberty documentary on teenage boys and suddently felt the urge to smother my little brother.

I got into a bit of a fender bender today since my brakes didn’t engage. There was no damage done to either car.

Sorry my thoughts are so……. SQUIGGGGGGGLOOKOVERHERE…. but I’m… sleepy and doing my reading for AbPsy. Yay for Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers