Change of Minor

Instead of going through the hoops of designing a minor, I’m just going to be a theatre minor. I already have Acting and Costume design under my belt. I’m taking Directing next semester.

So far next semester looks like this-

Directing
Stats
Geology
Intro to Film

I’m gonna change it up to

Directing
Stats
Theatre History 1
Modern European Drama
Geology (Pass/Fail)

I think I can pull that off.

Soooo…

Ever had that thing where you thought something was due on day X and it turns out to be due day X-5….  So the Ab Psy final project I thought I was supposed to have done by the 2nd, was due tomorrow. So I got it done, it didn’t take me that long. I’m just glad I got through it without an anxiety attack! Oh this is so cause for a party

I HAVE CONQUERED MY ANXIETY!!!!! Mostly

Anyways with two weeks to go here is what I have for each week.

WEEK ONE

• 1 Final for PoA
• Internship Stipend Application
• 1 Project for Ab Psy
• 1 Costume Design Project

WEEK TWO

• 1 Final for Ab Psy
• 1 Projects left for Costume Design
• 1 Paper for Shakespeare
• 1 Final for Shakespeare
• Begin Study Abroad paperwork

Thanks for the hits…

Sorry I haven’t been posting much lately. Life has been kind of intense, I suppose, and kind of down as well. I’m starting to really feel the emotional effects of my grandfather’s passing and… I dunno… I’m very jumbled up and I still have to finish out the semester. I should have most of it under control.

• A 3-4 Page paper for Psych of Adolescence
• 1 Final for PoA
• 1 Book to read/Quiz for Ab Psy
• 1 Project for Ab Psy
• 1 Final for Ab Psy
• 3 Projects 2 Projects left for Costume Design
• 2 Plays to read for Shakespeare
• 1 Paper for Shakespeare
• 1 Final for Shakespeare
• Internship Stipend Application
• Begin Study Abroad paperwork

Been away

Sorry I haven’t been all posty. On top of work and convention and an internship interview (which I landed, details to come) my grandfather just passed away so… time = occupied.

Working Along

I finished my project for Hecuba. I’m 1/3 of the way through with my project on A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I’ve read (er.. sparknoted) Antony and Cleopatra… read a book for Ab Psy and written the notes for my Psych paper. So updated the list.

• A 3-4 Page paper for Psych of Adolescence
• 1 Final for PoA
• 1 Book to read/Quiz for Ab Psy
• 1 Project for Ab Psy
• 1 Final for Ab Psy
• 3 Projects 2 Projects left for Costume Design
• 2 Plays 1 Play to read for Shakespeare
• 1 Paper for Shakespeare
• 1 Final for Shakespeare
• Internship Stipend Application
• Begin Study Abroad paperwork

Vampires- Narcissism, Spike, and Angelus

While Aria and I were watching LMPTM, I decided to bring up an article I read in the Psychology of Joss Whedon about vampirism as a metaphor for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I’m not going to go into detail about how vampires display symptoms of this since if you have seen BTVS and ATS you… well.. know what vampires are like. I went to fetch a list of the symptoms for you here-

Someone with NPD displays 5 or more of the following…

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Another intriguing note- the presence of a soul seems to take away these qualities. And now a little exploration of Angel and Spike.

Liam -> Angelus -> Angel : Driven by Purpose

Liam was a drunken, whoring, son of a bitch. That’s pretty much the only way to put it. He was the rich white kid of the 1700s who didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to, because his family had money and he was lazy. He had no purpose and hence was pretty much a mess. But that’s what makes his transition to Angelus so interesting. How this lazy boy becomes a feared killer- in becoming a vampire Angelus suddenly had purpose. He was a creature made to kill, made to feed, and he was going to do so to the best of his ability. But it was more than just ‘killing’, his purpose lay in destroying lives, hence the mind games and artistic slaughters.

When Angel got his soul back, he was no longer a full vampire, hence he lost his purpose which is what left him struggling for 90+ years, flailing to survive, doing nothing with his life except for moment and actions done on the spur of the moment, but not for any real reason. It was almost as though he was in a permanent dissociative fugue, cut off from any real identity as he made circles around the country, from New York to Chicago to Montana to Vegas back, eventually, to New York.

Things finally changed in 1996, when he had something to do- look out for Buffy. And you can see over the first few seasons of Buffy that this purpose kept Angel going. But it wasn’t going to last after they split. When he got to LA in the first season of Angel he was still in that isolated, drinking, closed off state. He got purpose again by his connection to the PTB.

In essence, what makes Angel a champion, is the exact same thing that makes Angelus a monster.

William -> Spike : Driven to Connect

William, in life, was someone who spent his time caring for his mother, writing poetry, and generally being a romantic, and about being connected to other people. Perhaps that is how he established his self worth, by connecting to others. In becoming Spike, he showed all the symptoms of NPD/Vampirism, but what I find interesting is that he shows them mostly in regards to his romantic points of view. For him, killing was not really done on his own, but mostly as what seemed like mating rituals with/for either Drusilla or Angelus, or if you don’t buy the Spike/Angelus bit you could say he was trying to prove his worth as a vampire to someone he admired.

He definitely was preoccupied by the concepts of ideal love, especially with Dru and Buffy. And can be seen as lacking empathy for others and interpersonally exploitative for this romantic ideal- case in point the scene where he is going to “make Buffy love him.”

Another interesting thing to point out is that he was not a violent vampire by nature, not until he met Angelus. Which begs the question, how does refined William become bad-ass brawling Spike. Again he is working on connecting to people and building up his self worth. No one will respect a vampire who just sits about writing poetry, they are going to respect one who gets out there and makes a scene. He is building himself up to show himself as someone spectacular, to be feared.

And as Aria pointed out to me, Spike getting his soul back was very different from Angel getting his soul back. Whereas Angel sort of… dissolved from his lack of purpose, Spike still had what drove him- the need to connect to others. And he did so in helping the Scoobies.

Left to do

So I’ve been ill the past couple days… on the mend I think, but I’ve come to realize how much work I have left

• A 3-4 Page paper for Psych of Adolescence
• 1 Final for PoA
• 1 Book to read/Quiz for Ab Psy
• 1 Project for Ab Psy
• 1 Final for Ab Psy
• 3 Projects left for Costume Design
• 2 Plays to read for Shakespeare
• 1 Paper for Shakespeare
• 1 Final for Shakespeare
• Internship Stipend Application
• Begin Study Abroad paperwork

And all in the next 3 weeks. GAH!

So you know what I’m doing? I’m inexplicably up at 2:30 with tons of energy working. I’ve read the material I need for the PoA paper. So I just need to write it. And I’m gonna get working on that book for ab Psy

Analysis of “Teenagers” or I hate 2 page limits

The first time my thirteen-year-old brother played the song “Teenagers” for me, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but soon found the beat was stuck in my head along with the first line of the chorus “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.” With this project in mind, I went back and took a look at this song and found myself getting intrigued by the way that the song spent time highlighting how frustrating it is to fit in as a teenager, both with peers and with the adult world, and the anger that comes with the world forcing them to conform from all sides.
The song highlights stress from both teen peers and the adult world that make teenagers feel as though they do not fit in anywhere. The song opens with the lines “They’re gonna clean up your looks / with all the lies in the books / to make a citizen out of you.” It draws the listener in talking about how teens look out into the adult world, and see adults trying to make them into young adults. In the process of ‘becoming a citizen’, teens feel that adults strip them of their individuality starting with the way they dress, their looks. The song goes on to say it doesn’t stop at trying to make teenagers look like adults, they try to take over their thoughts. “They gonna rip up your heads / your aspirations to shreds,” the singer proclaims. Teenagers feel that their unique dreams are going to be ripped apart by the overbearing adult world that tries to make them into cogs in the working world, rather than human beings.

Secondly, the song shows that teens won’t fit in amongst their peers. “The boys and girls in the clique / the awful names that they stick / you’re never gonna fit in much kid.” Teenagers not only face the concept of conforming to the adult world, but the teen world as well. They are taunted for not fitting in, and made to feel inferior for their uniqueness. There is a futile feeling of not belonging to any world, which in the most extreme cases leads to the third theme of the song.

Lastly, this song paints a violent image with phrases like “another cog in the murder machine.” The song shows the pressures of conformity and the pain of having individuality stripped from all sides. It shows us one level to which this pain can be dealt with. “Darken your clothes and strike a violent pose / maybe they’ll leave you alone.” This is one reaction to the pressure to conform, to take a negative persona and push people away. Everyone has surely seen in their high school the ‘goth’ and ‘emo’ kids who appear standoffish and wear black clothing as a way of expressing their individuality. However, the song also warns us of another way teens can react to this oppression. “What you’ve got under your shirt / will make them pay for the things that they did.” While not explicitly stated, this line seems to hint to gun or knife violence and a need for revenge on the people who have attacked them and to attack them in return.

It’s easy to pick up on the violence of this song. However, rather than supporting the idea of teen violence, it examines how teens become violent and how the world reacts to them. A world where teens feel they don’t fit into any world is a world where teenagers can become a danger, but it’s a reaction from the world they are in.

Wondering..

I’m beginning to wonder if love actually exists.

In honor of reading Othello…