Soooo…

Ever had that thing where you thought something was due on day X and it turns out to be due day X-5….  So the Ab Psy final project I thought I was supposed to have done by the 2nd, was due tomorrow. So I got it done, it didn’t take me that long. I’m just glad I got through it without an anxiety attack! Oh this is so cause for a party

I HAVE CONQUERED MY ANXIETY!!!!! Mostly

Anyways with two weeks to go here is what I have for each week.

WEEK ONE

• 1 Final for PoA
• Internship Stipend Application
• 1 Project for Ab Psy
• 1 Costume Design Project

WEEK TWO

• 1 Final for Ab Psy
• 1 Projects left for Costume Design
• 1 Paper for Shakespeare
• 1 Final for Shakespeare
• Begin Study Abroad paperwork

Thanks for the hits…

Sorry I haven’t been posting much lately. Life has been kind of intense, I suppose, and kind of down as well. I’m starting to really feel the emotional effects of my grandfather’s passing and… I dunno… I’m very jumbled up and I still have to finish out the semester. I should have most of it under control.

• A 3-4 Page paper for Psych of Adolescence
• 1 Final for PoA
• 1 Book to read/Quiz for Ab Psy
• 1 Project for Ab Psy
• 1 Final for Ab Psy
• 3 Projects 2 Projects left for Costume Design
• 2 Plays to read for Shakespeare
• 1 Paper for Shakespeare
• 1 Final for Shakespeare
• Internship Stipend Application
• Begin Study Abroad paperwork

Analysis of “Teenagers” or I hate 2 page limits

The first time my thirteen-year-old brother played the song “Teenagers” for me, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but soon found the beat was stuck in my head along with the first line of the chorus “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.” With this project in mind, I went back and took a look at this song and found myself getting intrigued by the way that the song spent time highlighting how frustrating it is to fit in as a teenager, both with peers and with the adult world, and the anger that comes with the world forcing them to conform from all sides.
The song highlights stress from both teen peers and the adult world that make teenagers feel as though they do not fit in anywhere. The song opens with the lines “They’re gonna clean up your looks / with all the lies in the books / to make a citizen out of you.” It draws the listener in talking about how teens look out into the adult world, and see adults trying to make them into young adults. In the process of ‘becoming a citizen’, teens feel that adults strip them of their individuality starting with the way they dress, their looks. The song goes on to say it doesn’t stop at trying to make teenagers look like adults, they try to take over their thoughts. “They gonna rip up your heads / your aspirations to shreds,” the singer proclaims. Teenagers feel that their unique dreams are going to be ripped apart by the overbearing adult world that tries to make them into cogs in the working world, rather than human beings.

Secondly, the song shows that teens won’t fit in amongst their peers. “The boys and girls in the clique / the awful names that they stick / you’re never gonna fit in much kid.” Teenagers not only face the concept of conforming to the adult world, but the teen world as well. They are taunted for not fitting in, and made to feel inferior for their uniqueness. There is a futile feeling of not belonging to any world, which in the most extreme cases leads to the third theme of the song.

Lastly, this song paints a violent image with phrases like “another cog in the murder machine.” The song shows the pressures of conformity and the pain of having individuality stripped from all sides. It shows us one level to which this pain can be dealt with. “Darken your clothes and strike a violent pose / maybe they’ll leave you alone.” This is one reaction to the pressure to conform, to take a negative persona and push people away. Everyone has surely seen in their high school the ‘goth’ and ‘emo’ kids who appear standoffish and wear black clothing as a way of expressing their individuality. However, the song also warns us of another way teens can react to this oppression. “What you’ve got under your shirt / will make them pay for the things that they did.” While not explicitly stated, this line seems to hint to gun or knife violence and a need for revenge on the people who have attacked them and to attack them in return.

It’s easy to pick up on the violence of this song. However, rather than supporting the idea of teen violence, it examines how teens become violent and how the world reacts to them. A world where teens feel they don’t fit into any world is a world where teenagers can become a danger, but it’s a reaction from the world they are in.

Song Analysis: Themes about Teen Life

I have to analyze the lyrics to a song with teen related themes. It seems only appropriate to do “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance. My 13 year old brother loves this song.

They’re gonna clean up your looks
With all the lies in the books
To make a citizen out of you
Because they sleep with a gun
And keep an eye on you, son
So they can watch all the things you do

Because the drugs never work
They gonna give you a smirk
’cause they got methods
In keeping you clean
They gonna rip up your heads
Your aspirations to shreds
Another cog in the murder machine

They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me
They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed
So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone
But not me

The boys and girls in the clique
The awful names that they stick
You’re never gonna fit in much, kid
But if you’re troubled and hurt
What you got under your shirt
Will make them pay for the things that they did

They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me
They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed
So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone
But not me

Oh yeah!

They say all teenagers scare the living shit out of me
They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed
So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone
But not me

All together now,
Teenagers scare the living shit out of me
They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed
So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone
But not me

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me
They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed
So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose
Maybe they’ll leave you alone
But not me

I hope it’s hormones…

I’ve just had a very weepy day. And watching “Family” with Aria didn’t help. Not the Aria part, hanging with Aria is good and makes my days not suck right now… Right now I just feel like I’m waiting… eternally for things to change, to happen… it’s a very lame feeling.

I also didn’t have class today… which… stuff… I don’t know. Anyways I hat being so down and I hope its my cycle. I’m sure you all wanted to hear that.

A Case of the Nasties

I had a particularly nasty panic attack today. To start, I was home for a few days to visit my grandfather… he’s looking better. Anyways the panic attack… It started at 12:30 when I hit the road to had from home to school wondering if I’d be back in time for my 3 O’clock class, I’m already kicking myself for stopping to buy an eyeshadow and concealer I really wanted, but I really wantd the concealer because I was freaking about this huge zit I have…

I knew I would make it, yet still with the panic. About 30 minutes into the drive I had to pee so I pulled off the highway to a gas station, their restroom was out of order, so I went to the rest stop across the street and it was under construction… so 10 minutes later I am in the Burger King freaking out already. I get back in the car and drive panicked to school, I get there with 15 minutes to get to class and it only takes me 5 minutes to walk there and my teacher starts late.

I get to class on time, sit down, and proceed to sit and twitch and constantly look at the clock and try not to cry. We were looking at eating disorders and I knew something was wrong with me because the idea of taking laxatives to lose weight suddenly sounded like a good idea.  BAD IDEA. Rationally a very very BAD IDEA.

So then I came back and saw that a parking ban was declared due to impending snow so I have to move my car. Which means putting it in the garage which will cost money. I am now panicking about the money I spent on the eyeshadow and concealer this morning. I know I have more money in a certificate of desposit and a nice sum of money in my checking account, yet I freak out because I  spent so much money last month and I don’t want my parents to be mad at me.

So I go out grocery shopping since my car will be in the garage for a while and I should get food now and it came out to… well… what food for over a week would cost since the price of food is rising and I’m using my mom’s money to buy the food and I freak again because I’m spending her money! Even though she said I could buy groceries. I bumped into two people in the market and apologized profusely and repeatedly and they were both equal parts comforting and wigged at this wacky girl who felt so guilty for bumping into them.

And now I’m here trying to not feel so damned guilty for every little thing that I do. This is bad. Aria’s on her way over… maybe some down time will help me…

Come on, You can do it!

It’s been a buzz in the medical community for a while but a study from last month shows that 20 minutes of exercise a day is as effective as an anti-depressant….. WHEEEEEE!!!! Endorphins how you blind us from the truth. I’m kinda bubbly since I’ve been exercising this week and it’s strange to feel this… WHEEEEEE!!!!!! And I didn’t have any sugar so I don’t know where that’s coming from.

Alright, this weekend I have to read all of Twelfth Night, I CAN DO IT… Oh and read some chapters in the Sapolsky book…  I hav no idea what my plans are otherwise but I’m feeling a very strong craving for Boston Market tonight… I’ll drive on down to the market then.

Anyways I had a pretty spectacular experience last night. I went down to the comic book store to pick up Buffy Season 8 #11. And there’s a line that Gwen Allan (The character I play in the upcoming audio drama Geek By Night) has where she talks about the importance of the bond between comic book store employee and comic book store patron, and I really got to feel that last night cause I was the only one in the store… when GbN comes out I think I’ll have to put a flyer up in the store.

There’s been times in my life when I just don’t feel geeky enough to enjoy a trip to the comic book store… is it weird that I’m developing a goal to be MORE of a geek?

FRIDAY!!!!

And my brain is too off to come up with a good subject header. It’s actually a rather gloomy day with the weather out there.

Well as my exhuberance shows, it’s friday, and I’ve made it through the first week of the semester but so far things are looking pretty shittastic. I’ve had a couple of emotional sinkholes this week which haven’t put me in a mood much to be doing homework. Luckily this weekend I only have some Ab Psy chapters and Psychology of Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood chapters to read and to do a little research on white trash, prisoners, and pimps in the 1970s for costume design.

The other two classes I haven’t filled you in on are PAEA and Costume Design I suppose. PAEA looks like it’s gonna be Intro Psych all over again… which yay I did well in that! And CD looks like it’s gonna be a lot of fun, I like my prof, Kiki. She’s much more chill about art than Prof. F was so even though I’m not really a drawer I feel like I’ll do alright in this class.

Oh how I miss the 3.65 I had my very first semester. That was a pretty number. Alas… first semester my first year was pretty rocking. I wonder if karmically everything’s balancing out. I had one good semester so now everything is crap or something like that? Anyways I don’t intend to be emo.

They say that exercise is as effective in many cases at treating depression as meds. As someone who is opposed to medication except in dire circumstances, I’ve been trying to work out for a month but alas no good has come to my mental health. I think it’s finally time to bite the bullet and see a shrink before I do something dumb to myself.

But for now I’m gonna chill a bit, maybe watch Bones with Aria, see if I can get in touch with E.

Oh and first of the month.. rabbit rabbit.